You’re More Than Just Your Relationship Status
I officially changed my maiden name to my married name at work today. Immediately afterwards, I unsurprisingly received quite a number of messages from my colleagues acknowledging my name change and how excited they were for me — of course, it was a pretty lengthy and tedious process on my part, so I was honestly just glad that it was all over with.
I‘ve been married for just about three months now and as beautiful and wonderful as marriage has been so far, I have to say that I don’t necessarily feel any different. I don’t feel any different in my relationship and I don’t feel any different as a person. I don’t know if that’s a horrible thing to admit, but it is true.
Yes, I feel a deeper sense of stability, security, and above all and most importantly, an overwhelming happiness in the fact that I married the man whom I love with all of my heart and soul…but, I don’t feel like a drastically changed person just because my last name has changed.
And to tell you the truth, I’m quite relieved about that.
I’m extremely relieved that getting married felt as natural and effortless as it was. And I know that I’m still a rookie — only a mere three months in — and I’m sure the hard parts are yet to come, but for now, I’m relieved that things have generally stayed the same.
I still feel like I’m me, even though I’m a “we”.
I’m at that age now where everyone around me — everyone in my network of friends — is turning the page on new chapters in their lives, celebrating big life moments, and embarking on new journeys (myself included). Marriage and starting a family has been at the forefront of those big moments.
And the one thing I’ve noticed is how some people have become so consumed with these big moments; how much they’ve let it define them.
I hate to sound like I’m misjudging other people’s excitement in celebrating these big life moments, but I just hope that people know that they are — and still can be — more than their relationship status. More than their marital status.
You’re more than just your relationship status… or at least, you should try to be.
Of course, I can go even further to say that you’re more than any of the titles that you hold in your life because you’re a living, breathing, emotion-feeling, independent-thinking, human being and you don’t have to let the roles you play consume your every ounce of energy.
We will all reach big life moments that may or may not turn our lives upside down, but regardless of the outcome, just know that the things that happen to you aren’t an end-all-be-all of you. Know that you can always be more.