Why “No New Friends” Will Be the Slogan for My Thirties
Friendship. I’ve always thought it was such a peculiar thing — it’s peculiar how differently people define friendships, how there are such wildly contrasting levels of closeness between friendships, and what the definition of friendship even means to certain people. Some people have many friends, yet those friendships are only surface level, while others only have a few close friends, but they consider those individuals as family. However, no matter the friendship, I’m always so fascinated by the stories of how they began and how they’ve managed to continue on.
I mean, it’s a pretty funny process when you think about. You meet someone, then somehow recognize that you get along with them, and ultimately decide that you want to spend more time with them in a (non)romantic way. From there, friendships can either continue to grow or sort of just stop in their tracks. Either way, the period of time in which a friendship is developing is a very unique time because you can never really know how long it will last. All you know in that moment is that you’re trying to make it work.
For as long as I can remember, becoming friends with anyone and everyone that I met was my mission in life. I couldn’t stand whenever someone didn’t like me and it was my prerogative to try to get people to like me if they didn’t. I don’t know why, but for some reason, I just needed that acceptance. I needed that validation. Throughout my twenties, this notion didn’t really change much…up until just recently.
I turned twenty-nine this past November and as I reflected on the past near-decade of my life, I thought about all of the insane obstacles that I’ve overcome and the defining moments that I’ve had. Then, I instantly recalled all of the people who have been there for me throughout those times. I then realized something pretty shocking — there have been a lot, and I mean a lot, of people who have come and gone over the course of the past nine years.
I couldn’t even believe it when I realized about it. I could only name a select few who have been around throughout my entire twenties and some of those people I’ve known since even before my twenties. And I’m close with maybe only a…