This What’s Holding You Back

It starts and ends with you

Lindsey (Lazarte) Carson


Photo by Tanja Heffner on Unsplash

Yesterday, I had a pretty uncomfortable, yet much needed, revelation about the things that have been really bothering me in my life lately.

They’re the things that I’ve been avoiding talking about with anyone because I know that if I talk about it, I’ll get answers that I don’t want to hear — answers that I know I could have easily given myself.

I rarely speak of my problems out loud because I try to channel all of my inner rage, anxiety, stress, and frustration towards the things that I’m passionate about rather than spend my time complaining about them — I also don’t want people to judge me.

However, the thing about this particular method is that even after I displace my emotions, I still have those problems on my mind.

What my coworker made me aware of is that displacing my emotions about my problems is completely different than actually talking about my problems and getting them off my chest.

Talking through your problems, especially to unbiased friends, gives you the perspective that you don’t want to see (this is essentially what a therapist is for).

It shows you the third party perspective that your friends and family don’t typically give you because the people closest to you always tend to factor themselves into the mix of solutions that they offer.

When you get the lens of an outsider, you get a more honest truth. And that truth is this —

The only thing that’s holding you back is you

The thing that is stopping you from doing whatever it is that you want to do is you. You have the choice to affect change in your life. Whether it be your actual situation or your attitude towards a situation, the only thing that can turn things around is the role that you play in it.

If you have a situation that you know you can change, then ask yourself what the real consequences are. If they’re not dire consequences and you’re just making excuses for your own laziness, then know that you’re the reason why things aren’t getting better.

However, if you aren’t able to necessarily change the situation, then change the way you’re…



Lindsey (Lazarte) Carson

Writer, Runner, and New Mom. I write about work, relationships, culture, and life in general.