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The Feeling of Not Belonging and What it Does to Your Self-Esteem
Reflections on being an extroverted misfit
Fitting in seems like such a high school-era, adolescent problem. You’d think that once you got to your thirties, the idea of fitting in would be an insignificant afterthought, something that doesn’t even phase you anymore. Or at least I thought that was the case until I realized that I actually still do care about fitting in.
The other day, I was in the final round of interviewing for a job that I had spent weeks interviewing for. Frankly, it wasn’t my dream job, but after four months of unemployment and countless job applications, any job started to become my dream job.
To my disappointment, I left this interview feeling a little self-conscious and extremely uncomfortable. Public speaking is a very common fear for many people, however, I’ve never had a problem with it. In fact, I enjoyed it. But, this interview left me feeling like a bit of a — to put it in simpler terms — big loser.
Anyone would admit that being asked to present a fabricated presentation to a room full of strangers who all have one common goal of judging your performance is not an easy task. It’s extremely intimidating and it takes quite a bit of energy to mentally prepare for.
