Getting Right Back Where You Started

“A compass is held in a man's left hand.” by Aron Reacher on Unsplash

There’s this card that sits on my desk in my bedroom. On the front of the card, it reads, “Sometimes right back where you started from is right where you belong.”

My sister bought it for me a few years ago when she was at an airport in Colorado. I stare at this card a lot when I’m at my desk, writing or listening to music, or even just going through my mail and organizing things.

Whenever I look at it, I think about how far I’ve come since graduating college and moving to New York City.

For a while, I’ve always had this unshakable urge to escape. I’m not referring only to recent years, but in my earlier youth as well. (But, I guess that’s common in young people these days)

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be somewhere else, to try something new, to experience change. It’s funny how life tends to give you exactly what you ask for without even saying it out loud.

Through the many changes that I’ve gone through in the past four years of living in New York City, I constantly try to remind myself not to forget where I came from.

Many of us try to outrun our past, or even forget it completely — especially the bad memories. But we can’t forget that the past is what made us who we are today. Though we shouldn’t dwell, we also shouldn’t take for granted the things that we’ve overcome.

Because of my unshakable urge to escape, I was given the courage to leave my hometown — to find myself and come to realize that I’ve never been more grateful for my past. I’ve never been more appreciative of the experiences that I’ve had, whether they were good or bad.

Recently, someone whom I deeply cared for from my past made their way back into my life and reminded me of that. And I’ve never been more understanding of what the front of that card on my desk really means.

I’m reminded that no matter how far I may travel, how successful I may become, or how hurt I’ve been, I must stay rooted in who I am as a person. I must stay true to myself.

We all need that reminder every once in a while so that we can stay humble. We must stay true to ourselves regardless of what life throws at us.

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Lindsey (Lazarte) Carson

Lindsey (Lazarte) Carson

Writer, Runner, and Plant Mom. I write about work, relationships, culture, and life in general. @lindseyruns