Relationships Aren’t Just About Finding the Right Person
Have you ever met someone, but the timing was just off? You meet this wonderful person and immediately think to yourself, “If only I were ready for this right now”.
“If only I weren’t still getting over my last breakup”
“If only I weren’t in the middle of changing careers”
“If only I weren’t about to relocate to a different city”
“If only I were in the right headspace”
There are so many ifs in life and because of that, timing seems to be everything. And when it comes to people, we never know whose path we’ll cross or where a relationship might lead to. We can only take each day as it comes.
So, what happens if you’ve met the right person, but lost them due to wrong timing?
This is a recurring situation that people often find themselves in time and time again. They meet someone, but due to some extraneous, external factors (whatever they may be), it just doesn’t work out.
And it sucks when that happens.
I know because it’s happened to me personally. And I know first hand that when you do find the right person, but just the timing in that exact moment is off, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve lost them forever. It just means that “right now”might have to turn into “later down the road”. I know because I’m engaged to the person that I thought I had lost forever.
As the saying goes, you can’t truly learn to love another person until you learn to love yourself first. Well, as cliché and simple as this might sound, it is in fact true. I met someone that, at the moment, I didn’t realize would ultimately change my life forever. But, that didn’t happen until much later on in life.
I met him in band class, freshman year of high school, and due to the roller coaster that life had put us through, we were never able to get on the same page until about four years ago.
The main reason why we were never able to get on the same page until four years ago was because up until then, we were each doing things that needed to be done within our own personal lives before we were ready for each other in the future.
We often use extraneous, external factors as the reasons for why it may not have worked out with a certain someone because it’s easier to put the blame on something other than ourselves. Yes, we may have actually been moving or we may have legitimately been “super busy” with work or we may not have genuinely been in the right headspace.
These are all valid points. These are all things that do happen — but, they’re not the sole reason for why a relationship doesn’t work out.
The other largest contributing factor is you.
You have to ask yourself in that moment, “Do I currently love myself enough to be able to love someone else?”
“Am I in the right emotional state to love someone else”
In life, we’ll never be able to control the things that happen to us or the things that happen around us. We can only control how we react in response to what happens to us. We can only control our actions and what we do in order to navigate the situations that we are placed in. And a lot of that has to do with where we are both mentally and emotionally. You have to be right with yourself before you’re right with someone else.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, check out “What’s the Easiest Way to End a Friendship?”