One of My Parents Died, But It Feels Like I’ve Lost Them Both

Losing a family member affects so much more than just yourself — it affects the family unit as a whole

Lindsey Carson
4 min readMar 6, 2023
Photo by Vicki Schofield on Unsplash

It’s been nearly two years since my Dad died.

It happened slow and fast all at the same time. We found about his cancer diagnosis in late-December and he was gone by the first week April. And despite the few, short months that we had left with him in between the diagnosis and his death, every single day that we had to see him suffer felt like an eternity. Every day that we didn’t know what the outcome would be felt like agonizing torment.

Since then, the weight of his loss has become a little less heavy, but it still hasn’t fully gone away.

After losing him, I’ve surprisingly managed to carry on with life without any major backslides or mental breakdowns. I kept up with work, traveled, spent times with friends and family, and had a lot of good days.

There were of course those dark days where immense waves of sadness would overcome me; where I would spontaneously break into tears without any particular triggering memory. But, whenever those days came, I always somehow managed to reel myself back in.

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Lindsey Carson

Writer, Runner, Mother. Trying to navigate my identity as a new parent. I write about work, relationships, culture, and life in general.