Nothing Will Ever Prepare You for Losing a Parent
It doesn’t matter where, when, or how it happens. Losing a parent is extremely painful and difficult regardless of the scenario
My Dad passed away just over a week ago on Easter Sunday, April 4th 2021. He endured a 13-week long battle with liver cancer. He died only five days after he was discharged from being in the hospital for two weeks. It was just three days before my Mom’s birthday.
He was 71 years old.
His death was sudden. My family (my Mom, my Sister, and I) didn’t see it coming at all. We thought that we had more time. After he was discharged from the hospital and had come back home, we looked ahead and focused on the upcoming weeks, knowing that it would be a long road to recovery. We were all prepared to fight like hell to get him better. Which is what made his death equally shocking and devastating.
The past fews months have been terribly exhausting and heartbreaking to endure. His death wasn’t the only thing that was quick and sudden — so was the rapid decline of his health after learning about his cancer. Nonetheless, my family and I tried our best to stay strong and hopeful even during the darkest of moments.
But, the swiftness in which he had gone felt like I had been shot with a bullet that continued in slow motion once it entered my body, traveling throughout ever corner, piercing every bone and organ inside of me. It was fast and slow all at the same time.
Ever since he died, all that I’ve been thinking about is the time that I had with him and the time that I know I’ll never have with him ever again. I’ll always be wanting more of it.
Looking back at the days, and the months, and the years that I had spent with my Dad, it will never seem like there was ever enough time. I’ll always wish that I had called him more often. I’ll always wish that I stayed home an extra day or two whenever I came home to visit my parents. I’ll always wish that I had said more or done more while he was around.
I’ll always look back and wish that I had taken advantage of the time that we had. I’ll always wish that there was more of it, but the truth is that there will never be enough time.
It doesn’t matter the age. It doesn’t matter where, or when, or how it happens. Losing a parent —or losing anyone whom you deeply love — is extremely painful and difficult regardless of what the scenario may be.
Nothing and no one can or will ever prepare you for losing a parent
It’s one of the hardest losses. And although I’ve talked to a number of friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers who have also lost a parent, they’ve all said the same thing. They said that the pain never goes away. That you only learn to live with it.
It will always feel like a part of me is missing because the thing is, when he died, a part of me died as well. And now, all that I can do is just learn how to live with that pain and carry on.
I miss you, Dad. I’ll always be missing you.