In All Reality, You Just Can’t Force Friendship
The ones who truly matter are the ones who make a positive impact in our lives, lift our spirits, and remain in our hearts forever
As I was on line for 4pm church service in the center of Manhattan, right in the heart of Times Square, one of the church volunteers who was managing the crowd said to everyone, “Please move up and make room, guys. And mingle! Please mingle!”
In my head, I slightly scoffed — Ironically so, given the fact that I was waiting in line for church, where we’re all supposed to be fundamentally kind to everyone. I scoffed because even though I was surrounded by a mass of people who were just like me, who were similarly waiting to enter a place of worship, we still didn’t want to intermingle or start a conversation with a complete stranger out of thin air.
Yes, we’re Christians, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we all wanted to become best friends with each other. Although, I don’t think that’s what the volunteer who was managing the line intended by saying, “Please mingle.” I think she just genuinely wanted us to converse with one another.
However, giving that friendly nudge to take on the daunting task of creating small talk doesn’t always make people any less reluctant to invest in a conversation. Regardless of whether you are Christian or not, sometimes people just don’t want to talk to each other. And no matter how much you try to force it, the effort to make meaningful conversation doesn’t always work.
When I first started my job at the company that I currently work for, my team was the most diverse group of people that I had ever been a part of, with the least number of things in common.
Historically, I’ve worked for companies where the team that I was on got along extremely well — So much to the point where I’ve become real friends with some of my former colleagues whom I no longer work with. Yet, this wasn’t the case for my current company. And it made me wonder if my team ever would or even could get to a point where we would genuinely become friends.
On a more positive note, I do have to say that in the past year and several months that I’ve been at my company, we have in fact has become significantly closer which often tends to be a natural effect of time. Though, I wouldn’t say that we’re necessarily best friends outside of work or ever will become like the friends that I’ve made from my other companies…but it’s okay. I’ve come to terms with this harsh truth.
And the truth is, in all reality, you just can’t force friendship.
Believe me, I’ve tried — I’ve tried and I’ve failed many times, which resulted in overwhelming feelings of defeat and discourage. However, I’ve now accepted that this is merely a part of life. I’ve accepted the fact that you can’t (and likely won’t) be friends with every single person you meet. I’ve accepted the fact that you can’t have always genuine and pleasant conversation with everyone you meet. And this is completely normal.
Eventually, we all move on. We all carry on with our lives. We meet new people each year and we create the same potential for a possible friendship or lack thereof.
There are thousands upon thousands of people that we will encounter over the course of our lifetime, but in the end, the ones who truly matter are the ones who make a positive impact in our lives, who lift our spirits, and remain in our hearts forever. And that, that cannot be forced.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this article, check out “The Peculiarity of Making Friends at Work”