“I’m Just Not That Into You”
A phrase most commonly heard when dating…and job hunting
With several months of unemployment under my belt, I can finally admit that it’s starting to wear on me. After getting let go from my job at the end of June, I can honestly say that it came as a bit of a relief at first. Similar to the five stages of grief, I experienced the same turbulent wave of emotions. Denial came first and I’ve now entered the bargaining and depression stage mixed into one.
Initially, I tried to look at the positive side of things.
- I had the entire rest of the summer to spend with my family
- I was given a much-needed, temporary “break” from work
- I could fully invest in looking for new job opportunities
Having been in a prolonged state of stagnancy in my previous role, I was already attempting to muster up the courage to part ways with the company that I had been with for the past six years. I just didn’t imagine that it would happen on their terms, not mine.
However, like any civilized breakup, I came to the conclusion that it was all for the best and I frequently reminded myself of the old adage, “everything happens for a reason”. It felt much like a good relationship that just ran its course. And deep down, I think I knew that it was time for it to come to an end one way or another.
So, here I am still in the throws of unemployment, back in the job market, applying for job after job with sadly little to no prospects on the horizon.
With every job application that I submit, I say a silent prayer to myself in hopes that this next one will finally be “the one”. Once again, I have to continuously remind myself that everything happens for a reason and that the right job will eventually come along, it’s only a matter of time. But, just like a single person desperately seeking to find their life partner, but has been stuck in the dating scene for far longer than they had hoped, the ongoing act of putting yourself out there only to be disappointed and rejected time after time can really do some serious damage on one’s spirit.
I’ve now gone through my fair share of disappointing courtships with many eligible bachelors— AKA rounds of interviews for jobs that I applied for — and despite my initial burst of confidence, it’s quickly shot down after each automated rejection email or dreadful phone call I get from the recruiter telling me that they went with another candidate. Their reasoning (if I’m lucky enough to even get one) comes in various forms, but the bottom line is them ultimately saying, “I’m just not that into you”.
It’s a harsh truth that no one ever wants to hear, but unfortunately, there’s not much we can except keep on looking. After all, why would we want to date someone who doesn’t want to date us back? Or in this case, why would we want to work for a company that doesn’t want to hire you? It should be a mutual interest, shouldn’t it?
Regardless, the feeling of rejection is never a pleasant one and it never gets easier to hear that you weren’t chosen. And no matter how many times you attempt to convince yourself that the right one will eventually come along, you can’t help but ask yourself, “what’s wrong with me?”
As a happily married person, I’m glad that I’m spared of the vicious dating scene that exists in today’s world, however, I’m not exempt from the painful process that is job hunting. And although I’ve gone through only a few months of unemployment — and I know there are many others out there who have been going through this same process for far longer— it’s still discouraging to deal with the feelings of inadequacy while simultaneously putting on your A-game for the next interview that comes along.
Thankfully, a former colleague had recently reminded me of my mantra of everything happens for a reason and that there’s no point in dwelling on rejection. All we can do is be patient, maintain a positive attitude, and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
So, for those of you who are in a similar boat as me, constantly applying for job after job, I hope that you can try to keep your head up. I’d be lying if I said that I myself have remained optimistic throughout the process, but I’m trying my best because we have to keep pressing forward, otherwise, we’ll never land anywhere.
