I’m Becoming a Little More Anti-Social Each Day
For many, the desire to be with other people grows stronger each day, but for me, that’s hasn’t really been the case
Similar to all of New York City (and the rest of the world), I’ve been in quarantine for over a month now. My fiancé and I have been staying put in our apartment in Queens, New York since early March. I literally haven’t left my house, with the exception of taking out the garbage or getting the mail, in over three weeks.
However, despite the lack of physical interaction with other people, I’ve been frequently communicating with my friends, family, and colleagues through the use of technology.
Due to the inability to physically be with other people, the time spent on my phone and laptop as a means to communicate with the people has significantly increased. And, as thankful as I am for technology, I’m also starting to get slightly overwhelmed by the perpetual demand for zoom calls, Facetime, and Google hangouts.
At first, it was a blessing and also a huge relief to be able to instantly hop on a video call to see my loved ones through just the click of a button. It was extremely convenient to set up a video call with colleagues for an early morning meeting without ever having to commute or change out of my pajamas. I came to really appreciate how much technology does for us, especially in a crisis like these.
However, after a certain point, technology started getting on my nerves. Video chatting started becoming a bit monotonous (similar to my entire weekly routine). A pattern in conversation started to develop where there was no way of avoiding the ongoing topic of, “I wonder how long this will go on.”
It was getting frustrating to constantly talk about the same thing over and over again, because well, there’s nothing else to really talk about. And the more it’s been continuing like this, the less enthusiastic and more resistant I’ve been towards wanting to immediately get on a zoom call with my friends or even my family.
For many, the desire to be with other people grows stronger each day, but for me, that’s hasn’t really been the case. You’d think that the lack of human interaction would create a stronger desire to be with people again, but instead, it’s done quite the opposite for me.
Instead, I’m getting accustomed to the solitude.
You’d think that the inability to be with other people would make me long for people more, but to be completely honest, it hasn’t. The more time that passes in quarantine, the more I’m adapting to not being around other people; the more comfortable it becomes. With each day, I’m slowly and ironically becoming more anti-social. And I don’t know if I should be ashamed or feel like a horrible person for admitting this.
Yes, I miss my family. Yes, I miss my friends. Yes, I miss my coworkers. I miss going to restaurants, going to bars, going to the gym, and going for run without the fear of my healthy and safety.
I miss traveling and going to concerts. I miss simply going outside without needing to wear a mask.
I miss handshakes, hugs, and high fives. I miss how life was in general before this whole thing ever happened.
However, I’m also adapting to this new life and I fear that the longer it goes on like this, the less I’ll feel inclined towards keeping up with all of the video calls, text messages, and constant communication that we’ve all been tethered to.
I know that eventually, everyone will be able to physically be with once other once again and when that day comes, it will be the most exciting day for all of us. But, until that day comes, I’ll continue being okay with this life in solitude.