I Thought that Being at Home More Would Help Me Write More
Instead, it did quite the opposite
Yesterday, I published my first article on Medium in a whole month. In fact, I realize now that I’ve only published one article in total last month.
Prior to that, I was much more consistent.
I always had at least one draft that I was working on and I would always be actively thinking of topics that would make for a compelling piece. However, recently I’ve had a hard time bringing myself to sit down and write anything.
I’ve found it difficult to find the motivation to even want to write. And I honestly haven’t had the mental strength to event attempt to force myself to write.
And so, I let the days go by until I rediscovered that desire again. I don’t know how or why it happened yesterday, but it just did.
Since the pandemic began, spending a majority of my days at home for the past several months has been quite an enlightening, yet extremely challenging, experience (as I imagine it’s been for pretty much everyone else as well). We’ve all had to adapt to a different lifestyle, a different style of working, and different ways in which to interact with one another.
In the early months of the pandemic, we had to get creative with how we filled our time and how we could still connect with people without physically seeing anyone.
I think that I speak for myself and many others when I say that it’s been absolutely draining, both mentally and emotionally. And after these many months of living in this “new normal”, I’ve finally reached the point of exhaustion, which is why I think writing has seemed like such a daunting task.
Being at home more has forced me to face realizations that I didn’t want to face before. It made me realize the ways in which I’d find excuses for not doing things — things like writing.
I thought being at home more would help me write more. Instead, it did quite the opposite.
I used to tell myself that I never had enough time to write. I used to tell myself that writing was just a side job and that I would never have the time to turn it into something more serious or permanent. I blamed it on my full-time job and that if only I was home more, I’d write more.
Well, that theory ended up proving itself to be completely false during the pandemic.
Being at home more in fact didn’t help me write more. And I realize now that the excuses I made for not writing and for not doing other things was just a way of me secretly saying, “I just don’t want to”.
As much of a tragedy that COVID-19 has been, it’s also put many things into perspective for many of us.
It’s put the value of family and friends into perspective. It’s put our priorities into perspective. It’s put the entire concept of time into perspective.
We always tell ourselves, “if only I had more time” — well, the pandemic has given that to many of us. It’s given many of us endless time to think, to reflect, and to hopefully understand how precious time really is.
It’s hopefully made us understand how precious life itself is.
So, take the time to ask yourself what’s precious to you in your life? And ask yourself what excuses you’ve been making for yourself this whole time?
