I Suddenly Feel Guilty for Not Going Into the Medical Field
In times like these, I think about what more I could have done in order to do more for people rather than just myself
I was sitting on the couch earlier this evening when my fiancé’s phone went off with an alarming sound. An emergency alert notification popped up which requested a call for individuals who are certified in the medical field. We quickly ignored it, knowing it didn’t apply to us.
My fiancé is a Teacher and I work for an ad tech company. We’re both currently working from home in our New York apartment and have been doing so for the past few weeks. We’ve finally started adapting to our new routine which we now know as our new normal.
We’re doing as we’re told by staying at home and based on what people on social media are saying, we’re apparently “saving lives” — and I’m not being sarcastic in saying that. I do know that there is truth to that. I know that we’re doing our part towards flattening the curve and, in a way, we are saving lives.
But, at the same time, there’s some part of me that does feel somewhat useless, helpless, and slightly guilty for not having the ability or knowledge to do more.
In times of crisis and desperation like the one that we currently in, it’s an all-hands-on-deck type of situation. Any hands that are certified to help are urgently needed to combat the virus that has plagued the entire globe.
However, what if you’re not one of the ones who are certified to help? (which is a large majority of the population) Those of us who aren’t in the medical field just have to sit and idly wait on standby until the situation starts to take a turn for the better — though, by the looks of it, the situation is seemingly only getting worse, in the United States at least.
So, there’s a part of me that’s starting to feel oddly guilty for not going into the medical field.
In times like these, it often makes me question my life choices. It makes me question my career choices and wonder why I didn’t take more time to really think about what I actually wanted to do after college.
Back then, the future was just an abyss. It was make-believe. It didn’t seem seem like it was real until it actually was. At the time, my main goal was to graduate first, then figure out the work stuff later. And I did. But, who did that really benefit except for myself?
In times like these, I think about what more I could have done in order to do more for people rather than just myself. I think about whether or not my choices would have been different back then if I had known that the world would look like it does today, in this current time. And I wonder if anyone else wonders that too. I wonder if anyone else feels guilty.