How to Get Your Confidence Back After Losing It Completely

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

ur levels of confidence can often fluctuate — Just like our varying moods on a daily basis, our confidence can also vary day to day. We’re at our most confident when we’re doing something that we know we’re particularly good at; something that we’re familiar with and have done dozens of times. That makes perfect sense though, of course. If it’s something that we’ve done before, then it’s less intimidating, less scary.

But, when it comes to something that we’ve never done before or if it’s something that we’re not so good at (maybe even something we consider ourselves to be particularly bad at), then surely our level of confidence won’t be very high. We’ll likely be a little more self-conscious, a little more nervous, and a little more self-aware. And all of these feelings will ultimately lead us to perform at a subpar standard.

Losing our sense of confidence can and likely will occur often throughout our lives, especially when it comes to big failures in important areas such as our career or relationships. And these failures can have a huge and sometimes lasting impact on our overall self-esteem.

Feeling like you are inadequate, inept, or inferior are all normal feelings that we all face— They’re human feelings. And though we may feel this way from time to time, it isn’t something that will or necessarily has to last forever. No matter how far our confidence may fall, we must know that we can always raise it back up. And here are some ways of how to do that…

Remind yourself of the things that you’re good at.

Make a list. Write them all down. Write down your strengths. Write down the soft skills (non-measurable skills such as people skills) and the hard skills (measurable skills that you’ve learned) which you possess.

Knowing your strengths versus your weaknesses is half the battle. Once you’ve separated out the two, then you know what [weaknesses] you need to work on and what [strengths] you can use to your advantage.

Evaluate what you can do in order to improve.

Create a game plan for how to be better than you are right now. Identify what actions need to be taken so that you are able to excel. Do your due diligence and compile the research in order to figure out the formula for a solution and the necessary steps on how to improve. Then, follow through with these things accordingly.

However large the problem may seem at first, know that there is always a likely solution. There are always ways to improve and there is always room for improvement.

At the end of the day, remember that you’re only human.

We’re human. We’ll never be extraordinary at everything that we do the first time around. Just like infants learning to take their first steps in life, we first must learn how to crawl before we can learn how to walk. Then, we must learn how to walk before we can learn how to run.

And though we may fall and make mistakes along the way, we still have to get back up and keep trying until we get better. Again, confidence can be a fragile thing. It can be very easy to break, but it can always be put back together.

As the saying goes, practice makes perfect.

Realistically, we should all know that success doesn’t happen overnight. Greatness doesn’t occur in a mere matter of days or a matter of weeks. It takes a great deal of time to get to a point where you can be considered an expert at something.

“Greatness is a property for which no man can receive credit too soon; it must be possessed long before it is acknowledged.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Similar to training for a marathon, it takes many months to prepare. It takes months for your body to slowly adapt to the number of miles that you gradually have to build up to. It takes months to finally feel confident that you’re ready for the race.

In the same sense, that’s exactly what you have to realize when you’re building your confidence back up after you’ve lost it — It’s a climb.

And although it may be a slow process, it’s certainly not impossible.

Written by

Part-time Writer & Full-time Digital Advertising Expert in Queens, New York. Avid runner & Plant Mom. I write about writing and life.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store